Playing Chicken in Kiev
It doesn't take much reading between
the lines to understand the current controversy in Ukraine. One side
wants to align itself more closely with the EU – i.e. with the
“West”, i.e. with us... and the other side wants to move, at
least partly, back under the wing of Mother Russia. Now, there is
nothing new about this issue; it's quite ancient, in fact. You can
find the issue of “Europhilia” vs. “Slavophilia” -- i.e., do
we want to be Europeans or not? -- coming up in 19th-Century Russian
novels, and it goes back at least as far as Peter the Great. That's
Russia, of course, but Ukraine has its own version of the very same
dilemma, and when it looks around at the other former Soviet
republics, it can see a full range of solutions, from the
enthusiastic embrace of the EU by the Baltic states (which were never
Slavic anyway) to a deeper commitment to Islam among the Central
Asian “stans”.
To our conventional way of thinking, it
seems obvious. After all, Ukraine was horrendously mistreated by the
Soviets back in the 1930s, and once pacified became just another one
of the gray, nameless, faceless Soviet republics. And now they are
free! So why turn around and re-align with their former rulers and
persecutors? I mean, OK, because of its size, economy, and culture,
Ukraine might wind up as a most favored trading partner of Russia
(assuming it's not already), but wouldn't the whole thing be just a
bit intimidating – a marriage of non-equals?
On the other hand, is this really the
best time for Ukrainian leaders to propose a closer alliance with the
West? Maybe it's better to be a second-class citizen within the
Russian sphere of influence than a third- or fourth-class citizen
with regard to the EU. Plus, what's the EU's trajectory these days?
It's basically morphing into the next German Empire. Does Ukraine
really want to go the way of Greece and the other insolvent places
that were forced to sell themselves down the river to the more sober
power north of the Alps? Because, like it or not, this is the sort
of thing that's likely to happen when a place that is politically
chaotic gets into an economic “arrangement” with a place that's
not. We've already seen it any number of times.
And that's just about the EU. An alliance
with the EU is also, inevitably, an alliance with the U.S., and one
look at our political system these days, where the inmates have
clearly taken over the asylum, should be enough to sober anybody up.
And besides, the EU or its surrogates have assumed a dominant, if not
totally controlling, role over the U.S. banking system and thus its
economy. If it can happen to us, it can certainly happen to Ukraine
in much less time.
Add to this the unlikely fact that
Russia has actually started to assume moral leadership on the world
stage, as in the case of Syria. Clearly, the Russian Empire is
starting to come back to life and regroup, whereas ours is
fragmenting and falling into chaos. Which team is starting to look
like the winning team? Where does the future lie? Ukraine is going
to have to cast its lot in one direction or another, and I don't envy
them their choice.
Can They Hear Me Now?
The award for the funniest news item in
ages has to go to the story about the fake “signing” guy at the
memorial service for Nelson Mandela. Standing an arm's length from
President Obama (and any number of other, ahem, dignitaries) this guy pulled off a coup that would put Sacha Baron Cohen to shame.
Apparently he managed to penetrate security and sneak up on stage
and start “signing” with absolutely no problem – and those in
charge didn't know anything was amiss until it was pointed out, later
on, that the guy hadn't been saying, er, signing anything whatsoever
but just “moving his hands around”.
But what a beautiful metaphor for Obama
and his administration! You can't make this stuff up. Placed on
high for no discernible reason – check. Much gesticulating and
waving of arms, but totally content-free – check. A total fraud
and a hoax – check. Only detected after the fact, once it was too
late – check. “An absolute circus” -- check.
Ah yes – this is life in South
Africa, where hope and change rule... where an oppressed people
finally got their piece of the pie and said “it's our turn”. And
hey, there are bound to be missteps now and then – after all,
haven't any number of impostors manged to crash White House parties
and have their pictures taken with The Anointed One?
And, oh yes, the guy was not taken into
custody – at least not right away. And, it turns out, this is not
the first time he's played this trick. Yeah... always give someone
another chance, that's the American way.
At any rate, it's too funny. Just the
thing to liven up the holiday season.
Snakes on a Plane
There's another story that came out of
the Mandela pilgrimage, but one that requires a bit of reading
between the lines. It seems that the plane that transported Obama &
the missus to South Africa was also graced by the presence of George
W. Bush (a fellow member of the Regime), Mrs. Bush, and Hillary
Clinton (a former political rival of The Anointed One). Conspicuous
by their absence from the First Plane were Jimmy Carter and Bill
Clinton, the reason given being “logistical issues”.
Logistical issues, my a**. My guess is
that Obama didn't want to be seen spending that much time with
Carter; it might have invited unfortunate comparisons. And as to
Bill – well, I suppose the prospect of him and Hillary spending an
entire flight to South Africa on the same cramped, stuffy airplane
didn't appeal to either one of them. It would have been the longest
time they spent together since leaving the White House!
Ending With a Whimper
The Pittsburgh Steelers retain an
infinitesimal mathematical possibility of making the NFL playoffs –
provided a few other teams all come down with herpes or shingles in
the meantime. Otherwise, fuhgeddaboutit. On the plus side, it means
we can finally relax and just enjoy the game instead of having our
intestines tied in knots on every play. After all, somebody has to
lose – right? But I guess when most people are “educated” in
the public schools, where everyone is a winner each and every day,
it's hard to accept that fact of life.
Up the Vigilante
Turns out that George Zimmerman is a
badass with a temper after all. Ah well, it's too late now. Maybe
Neighborhood Watch can hire more Mister Rogers clones in the future.
