Jottings, Coarse and Fine

The folks who want us to go back on the gold standard had better consider at least this issue: By the time the Fed, i.e. the U.S. Treasury, has finished printing all the money needed to support the bailouts, the economic stimulus plan, and ObamaCare, there will be trillions more in dollars in circulation than there are now. But our gold reserves – such as they are – will not have increased one iota. So a simple calculation should be sufficient to assess (1) how little the dollar will be worth at that point; and conversely (2) how much gold will be worth at that point. I wish I had the numbers, but I don't. But I don't think it's too wild a guess to speculate that, if this ever occurred, gold would immediately jump to five, six, or even seven figures an ounce. Not that I'm advocating running out and buying gold, mind you – for one thing, this is never going to happen. And for another thing, I'd appreciate it if you'd wait until I've already bought mine. : )

And speaking of ObamaCare, I think that at least half of the misunderstanding and strife over this issue could be solved quite readily, if the administration would simply put out a comprehensive explanation and summary of the plan. Has it done this for the benefit of the Congressmen who are expected to vote on the bill? Not that I'm aware. And the angry voices at the town hall meetings certainly indicate that the average citizen knows little or nothing about the actual provisions... only rumors on the one hand, and bland assurances on the other. So what would be wrong with, for example, just putting down, in black and white, a quick summary of what the impact would be on, say, those who are employed and already insured through their employer; those who are employed and insured through some other means; the non-insured employed (who would like to be insured); the non-insured employed who don't care; the unemployed who are, somehow, insured; and the uninsured unemployed (both by choice and otherwise). I'm sure there are some other subgroups that could be defined as well. So why hasn't this been done? Well, it's what always happens with liberal social legislation – it is made so complex, convoluted, and Byzantine that no one (including those who are supposed to vote on it) can figure it out. But it's loaded with time bombs and hidden snares, which only come out once the laws have been passed and implementation is under way – and by then it's too late. One only has to look at the Americans with Disabilities Act for an example. ObamaCare will be ADA to the tenth power. And all of this confusion and complexity is, of course, completely intentional, since the people who come up with these schemes know that the “Trojan Horse” technique works far better than simple honesty... and besides, the more people who consider themselves helpless, the more big government prospers. So – bottom line – I think the proposals deserve to be defeated on this basis alone, even if some of the provisions are perfectly reasonable. The message to the administration should be – when it comes to bill of this magnitude -- “Either simplify and explain, or forget it.”

An article in the current American Conservative includes this passage: “Pakistanis remain puzzled about American plans. They don't see an end game.... 'What is the long term objective of western troops in Afghanistan? What is the strategy to attain these objectives and please share them with us. A lot of us are plainly baffled as to what is going to be the picture in Afghanistan and Pakistan.'” The question is also asked, re: Osama bin Laden, “Do we really want to catch him?” The answer to that one is – of course not, because Osama is the “MacGuffin” to end all “MacGuffins” -- and his capture would take the bottom right out of our entire rationale for being over there. And as to “American plans”, and “an end game”, and long-term objectives, the answer is, there aren't any. The plan is to stay there forever, which cancels out the need for objectives or an end game. And Afghans and Pakistanis who are ambivalent about our troop presence because they see it as an “occupation” are precisely correct – it is, in fact, an occupation, and will continue to be so until such time as we are removed forcibly (or forced to leave through total economic collapse). So yeah – it's no wonder folks over there are puzzled, and baffled. It doesn't make sense to anyone over here either. It is simply one more milestone along the march of folly.

And speaking of Afghanistan, according to an article in today's paper, “top Pentagon leaders” say “the military effort there is 'only now beginning'”. Yeah – that's what I'm afraid of. So... what do we say about the troops who have already died there? That they died in a non-military effort, or a pre-military effort? Maybe they were just “advisors” -- like the tens of thousands of “advisors” Obama is going to leave in Iraq after the official departure of our troops.

And speaking of military follies in general, here's George Will: “The 2008 U.S.-Iraq security agreement must be submitted to a referendum.” He means a referendum of the Iraqi people. I've got an even better idea – how about submitting it to a referendum of the _American_ people. Of course, the government wouldn't dare. As the saying goes, don't ask the question if you aren't interested in the answer.

Local officials in Inverness, Scotland are using cuts from “The Sound of Music” to drive idle teenagers away from a community center at closing time. Hey – it would work for me. But why stop there? I would suggest the repertoire be expanded to include anything by Wayne Newton, Robert Goulet, Anthony Newley, and anyone singing anything by Andrew Lloyd Webber. Wow – that would be like Raid, Off, and Black Flag all rolled into one.

And it's back to NASA, for the latest sob fest over budget cuts. Get this: “The twin (budget) blows could have a far-ranging impact, not only on the world's perception of U.S. scientific prowess, but on an unknown range of technological innovations yet to be realized.” And yes – they had to do it! -- they waved “dehydrated food” in the air. Hey – if the total lifetime cost of NASA were spread out across every dehydrated food item on the market, your Campmor dried cajun beans and rice would cost about $1000 a pound. Some benefit! But what really gets me is that business about “an unknown range of technological innovations yet to be realized”. Freely translated, that means “Let's spend tens of billions of dollars we don't have on the off chance that there are, floating somewhere off in space, unrealized technological innovations – an entire range of them, in fact (albeit completely unknown).” Wow – and here I thought the rationales for the bailouts and the economic stimulus plan were ambiguous. Can we just all turn in our supplies of dehydrated food and tell NASA to blow it out its shorts?

Didja ever have that experience where you were at lunch with a group of people, and the time came to pay the bill, and you generously offered to put it “on your card”, assuming everyone else would figure out their fair share? So the next thing you know, everyone has agreed (with suspicious eagerness), and you find yourself barraged with money from all directions – sort of a very brief green snow squall. So you dutifully put down your card, pay the bill, and pocket the pile of greenbacks. Later on you count the take... and lo and behold, it turns out your lunch cost about five times that of everyone else! Or so it would seem, since the cash you took in doesn't come anywhere near covering the bill, i.e. the total minus what you thought you owed. So you got slickered by your loyal and cordial colleagues. Ah yes – live and learn. And, “separate checks!” from then on. Well, a similar thing is already happening here in Steel Town. The city and county fathers are already getting a cold, lurking feeling that they're going to be left holding the bag for the upcoming G-20 conference. It seems that, since Pittsburgh is the “host city”, it's expected to pick up the tab for all sorts of things -- kind of like the father of the bride, who has to still live in a packing crate long after the kids are divorced. So the bill will land in the lap of – not the G-20 itself, or the Obama administration, but the city. Because, after all, the G-20 is a feather in our cap, and “good for business”. The plain truth is, it's a pain in the ass and terrible for business, since scores of businesses will have to shut down for the duration. Yep, we've been suckered, folks, and it's too late now to say “hell no!” I think we're on the verge of starting a new class of jokes that all begin with “You city so dumb...”

And speaking of people with black holes for brains -- how anything can be so stupid, blockheaded, and clueless, and still survive is beyond me. I refer, once again, to the public schools and their brain-dead administrators. This time around it's 85 kids who were sent home from a local high school for carrying WMDs. Nope! Fooled you. They were toting handguns, knives, and drugs. Nope! OK, how about prescription medicines? Nope. Advil? Nope. These wild, unruly teens were sent home for – are you ready? -- showing up at school with their shirts not tucked in, apparently in violation of a new dress code. Oh, the humanity! What next, I ask? Missing belts? Untied shoelaces? Do I have to drag up the old saw about rearranging the deck chairs on the Titanic? Plus – consider the potential for psychological trauma. One parent said, “They should never send children home like that. You don't know what they're going home to.” Like some primal scene between mom and the milkman, on the living room couch? I'd love to know what she was thinking of. (And so would her husband, I'll bet.) But, in any case, it's another in the long, dreary list of idiocies that keep pouring out of the bottomless pit that is the public school system.