Bow, Bow, to the Dowager Empress Elect !

There is an office which is alien to the American system, and this is most unfortunate, since this time-honored office has, by virtue of rank and custom, informed the political lives of many much more ancient and venerable civilizations than ours. I refer to the office of Dowager Empress, which technically refers to the surviving wife, i.e. widow, of an emperor, similar to the concept of "queen mother" being the widow of a king and also the mother of the current king or queen. Now, a dowager empress may not wield much formal power, but she has vast reserves of tradition and respect backing up her position, not to mention a considerable stock of nostalgia, as well as plain old intimidation of the sort only middle-aged or elderly women of imperious mien can exhibit. I bring all this out in response to the endless dithering that has begun as to "what to do with Hillary". Apparently, a secure, lifetime seat in the Senate is not enough, although it certainly seems to have satisfied towering egos like Ted Kennedy and Robert Byrd for all these centuries. But no, the search is on for something more permanent... more lasting. A seat on the Supreme Court has been proposed, for example. (For _real_ permanence, I would suggest a news anchor slot on NPR, but let that go for now.) But nay! -- I say -- this is not enough. We are talking about a woman who has already scaled the heights of power... who has held countless politicians (or at least various body parts thereof) in the palm of her hand... who has hired and fired at will... who has presided over the incineration of an annoying, nonconformist cult in Texas... who has taken an old beau on a midnight ride to a scenic overlook in Arlington, Virginia (albeit he was dead at the time, but the scenery was stunning, in any case)... who has offered to become Big Nurse to the entire nation, in the manner of Elena Ceausescu... and many other accomplishments, that could scarcely have been achieved by any one mere mortal. No, the only office, or title, suitable for Hillary at this time is that of Dowager Empress, and to those who accuse me of stretching the point -- who point out, e.g., that her husband is still alive and that he was never, in fact, an actual emperor -- I say, balderdash and pooh! She is eminently suitable for the job, she deserves it, and she will perform admirably, I predict. And in the unlikely event she should fail, we could also have a Dower Empress in Waiting to fill in... someone like, oh, Teresa Heinz Kerry, for example.