Cheney of Fools

Remember that great “meltdown” moment in “The Caine Mutiny” where Humphrey Bogart, playing Captain Queeg, starts playing with those ball bearings in the courtroom? Creepy, right? But it's only a movie. Unfortunately, the vice president (still!) of the U.S. is starting to drift in that direction, with ever more bizarre statements. A recent example is his “Deface the Nation” (Rush's term) interview on Sunday, where he cited the many “achievements” of the Bush administration in Iraq. For example: “We have a significant reduction in the level of violence.” Right. Of course, if we hadn't invaded there would be no violence at all. So we're not even back to breaking even. But he apparently doesn't see it that way – or if he does he doesn't care. Or how about another success story, namely the removal of Saddam Hussein? Well, we certainly did get rid of him. But was that our job? Where in the Constitution does it say that the president (or whoever) can, at will, remove foreign leaders from office, and have them tried and executed for, basically, offending the U.S.? Oh, but wait – the Iraqi elections. Now there's a success story. But don't we basically hand pick their leadership, and decide who gets “supported” and who is left swaying in the wind? Who ya gonna believe, us or the Iraqi voters?

And then we have the crowning achievement of them all, the “framework agreement” that provides for, or suggests, or presents as a “maybe”, a tentative possibility, the withdrawal of U.S. forces (except for a few thousand “advisors” and “trainers”, of course) by 2011. Well gee Dick, if that's such a good idea, why not make it into an even better idea and leave right now? Or, if us not being there is a good thing, who sent us over there in the first place, hmmm?

And then he says – and here's a line right out of Captain Queeg -- “All of these things by anybody's standards would be evidence of significant success.” Yeah... anybody who is schizophrenic, that is.

I suppose Hitler had dreams of glory in his bunker as he loaded the pistol with one bullet each for him and his gal pal. “Someday they'll appreciate me for all I've done for them, the ingrates!” We see this every time one of the mighty has a mighty fall – or, in this case, an inane shuffling off the scene. “They'll be sorry.” Think: “Pore Jud is Daid” from “Oklahoma”. The worst person in the world probably has someone who will miss him when he's gone – for whatever reason. In Cheney's case the best favor we can do for ourselves, and posterity, is to never allow a person of that caliber to run our foreign policy again.