Saturday, July 11, 2009

Minced Brain Terrorizes City, Pictures at Eleven

If you want to know what Nancy Pelosi's brain looks like, just open a can of Campbell's Thick 'n' Chunky Minestrone and look inside -- that's about it. You know, every administration has to have its source of humor, it's "lighter side" -- especially with Obama stalking around wearing a Pilgrim hat and carrying a blunderbuss loaded with our money, frowning at everything and everyone. Reagan had his James Watt... Bush I his -- oh, what was his name? Oh yeah -- Dan Quayle. Clinton had Joycelyn Elders... and himself. Bush II had... himself. And now Obama has Pelosi, who, while technically not an actual member of the administration might just as well be. She certainly qualifies in the most important respect, namely her capacity for delusion and her inability to satisfactorily explain... well, pretty much anything. So we have, for example, the following quote, later found on the floor after she attempted to discuss an issue whose importance to the nation can scarcely be exaggerated -- namely whether or not to allow the House of Representatives to debate a resolution honoring Michael Jackson. The quote is as follows: "A resolution, I think, would open up to contrary views to -- that are not necessary at this time to be expressed in association with a resolution whose purpose is quite different."

Let that sink in for a moment. Wow -- and they call Sarah Palin incoherent. But in Pelosi's defense, maybe she was just trying to avoid an awkward confrontation between House members who consider Jackson a demiurge and those who consider him a "pervert" and a "pedophile", in the words of Rep. Peter King, R-N.Y. (And I guess we can expect Rep. King to appear on the list of unemployables after the next election. You could call Jackson a "pre-vert" in the Old South and get away with it, but in New York? Gedaddahere. What a schmuck.) But King's problems are not Pelosi's, and she is determined to keep it that way... although, let's admit, a resolution honoring Jackson would at least have been _something_. In fact, it might have been the only tangible achievement Congress could point to out of the current session, since it has signed over all of its other prerogatives to Obama and Co. Oh, but wait -- they have to keep pretending, 'cause that's their job. Sorry, my bad.

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