Bits 'n' Bites

As the financial ghettoization of the American middle class proceeds apace, some folks have apparently found time to maintain the usual level of absurdity and cluelessness. During these bleak times, any sign of life (even if it involves death) is more than welcome. A sampling:

o First there was “Colony Collapse Disorder”. Now we have “Forest Collapse Disorder”. What is it? No one knows. But it happened in Nepal, where “nearly 3,000 trees in a single forest fell over within a 10-minute period.” And there were no Air Force planes dropping “daisy cutters”, as far as anyone knows – and no strong winds. The only possible explanation – “the trees were knocked down by a supernatural force”. Well, I guess we could ask Sarah Palin where she was that day – she certainly has enough experience knocking things down in the woods. I would also recommend reviewing the mysterious explosion in Tunguska, Siberia in 1908 for a similar M.O. That could have been a meteor – maybe one made up of antimatter – or a UFO. In any case, it definitely raises the bar for interesting “earth” stories.

o Headline Understatement of the Week: “Dems’ many promises may be hard to fulfill.”

o I got a campaign phone message today that described Obama as a “committed Christian”. Well… I guess any “Christian” who isn’t the least bit troubled by partial-birth abortion _should_ be committed.

o What do ordinary people – voters – know that the elite doesn’t? Maybe it’s that Wall Street is not always on their side, and that in some instances – like the current crisis, perhaps – the interests of Wall Street are in direct opposition to those of ordinary people. The only thing that’s clear about the various bailout plans is that they will make the rich richer – or at least no poorer – and benefit the middle class not at all. In the long run, everyone will be poorer because of the increased tax and debt burdens necessitated by the bailouts, the difference being that “poorer” when you pull down eight or nine figures a year is a good deal different from “poorer” when you pull down five.

o According to records kept by Britain’s museums and galleries, damages to works of art caused by tourists include a “piece coated in vomit”. Well, let’s not be too hasty! Who says it wasn’t intended to be that way? The National Endowment for the Arts has paid big money for stuff like this. Maybe we’d better check with the artist before declaring it an “accident”.

o I see that the lady responsible for “Grandparents Day” has died. What I didn’t realize was that it’s an official holiday, approved by Congress and Jimmy Carter (when he was president, that is). I always thought it was something dreamed up by Hallmark Cards. Who knew?

o One benefit of the current financial crisis is that it has exposed, once and for all, the total cluelessness and irrelevance of George Bush. Every time he gets on TV these days he looks like a four-year-old at a burlesque show. “Huh??” Unfortunately, the crisis has also exposed the cluelessness and irrelevance of the major contenders to take over his office in a few months. If the era from World War II to now was the Age of the Technocrat, we may be entering the Age of the Fiscalcrat, i.e. where the money managers have all the authority. This could be a good thing in a way, since sheer greed usually has a better result than pure politics. I mean, to get rich and stay rich you have to live in a country that has some resources, and an infrastructure, and people who are willing to work. Politicians, especially of the liberal/utopian type, don’t have much use for resources or infrastructure or work; they would rather run an idyllic place like Zimbabwe, where fruit with a high narcotic level just falls off trees into the mouths of a passive proletariat.

o Peggy Noonan on Sarah Palin’s debate performance: “She is not a person of thought but of action.” Right. That’s exactly what we’re all afraid of.

o Justice delayed is better than no justice at all, I guess. That piece of human offal who owned the dogs that, unprovoked, literally tore apart a woman in San Francisco back in 2001 has been sentenced to 15 years to life in prison. As I recall one of the defense arguments during the trial was the victim was a very small person – about the size of a sheep or a goat, in fact, so you couldn’t really blame the dogs for attacking her because to them she was “prey”. Right. “Prey” in the hallway of an apartment building in the middle of a large city? People who insist on keeping dogs like that should be required to keep them, say, at least ten miles from the nearest human habitation. Better still, the genetic lines that led to animals like that being at large ought to be thoroughly eradicated.

o Now it looks like the Chinese are getting cold feet. They’ve decided to put a moratorium on any further investment in the U.S., apparently deciding to wait and see how things go with the meltdown. Chances are they’re just waiting to scoop up some bargains. But that raises an interesting question. Since China is the biggest single investor in the U.S. economy, why aren’t we asking them for help with the bailout? How come the burden has to fall on American taxpayers, when it’s the Chinese who stand to profit the most? I think the Fed and the Treasury should ask them to pony up, to protect their investments. They could approach them through a third party if they preferred – someone with firm connections on both sides – say the Clintons.





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