Saturday, March 28, 2009

They Call Me Cuba Pete

With regard to Cuba, the good news is that the life expectancy is 77.3 years – “nearly the same as the United States”, according to a news item. The bad news is that “about 90 percent of Cubans have government jobs” -- mainly because the government is the only employer, and that's because it took over all industries, retail, services, and agriculture decades ago. But hold on a minute – maybe those two numbers are causally related in some way. Admittedly, Cuba has a medical system that's the envy of Hillary Clinton... but there might be more. Maybe it's the fact that they all work for the government that enhances their life expectancy. I mean, government jobs are low-stress... low-demand... low (or no) accountability... low (or no) standards... they are, in fact, the very model by which all employment is to be measured in the liberal utopia of the future (and the future, as we all know, is getting closer every day). But in Cuba, that utopia is now, and has been for nigh unto 50 years. We know that the “rat race” that is an inevitable product of capitalism and free enterprise takes its toll on health in the form of high blood pressure, heart attacks, stroke, nervous breakdowns, obesity, baldness, erectile dysfunction, and so forth. And we also know that government workers are a famously relaxed, laid-back, devil-may-care bunch, whose only serious health problem is blood clots from spending a long time motionless. So maybe... just maybe... we can solve a lot of the health problems of Americans by seeing to it that as many jobs as possible are converted from “private sector” to “government”. In fact... wait a minute! That's exactly what Obama and his administration are doing even as we speak! Are they secretly trying to enhance the health and longevity of Americans by doing this, and only pretending it's about the economy? If so, I give them top grades for vision and subtlety... but only average grades for honesty.

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