A Nancy Drool Mystery

Then we have – if you've been following today's posts so far – the spectacle (for could it be any other, considering who's involved) of Nancy Pelosi visiting Baghdad “to cement intelligence ties”. OK – as soon as you've stopped laughing about this contradiction in terms, I'll go on. Apparently, the conventional wisdom on Capitol Hill is that, as our actual physical presence in Iraq diminishes, our intelligence presence has to, somehow, mysteriously, increase. This, in turn, is based on... well, on a number of premises. One is that we can “do” intelligence by remote control, i.e. by relying on “allies” like the Iraqis (OK – have your laugh, I can wait), just as readily as by having “boots on the ground”. Another is that we even _need_ “intelligence” about Iraq once we've supposedly left those stygian shores and shaken the toxic dust from our boots. I mean, if we're leaving, let's just _leave_, OK? No “trainers” left behind, no “liaisons”, no “intel”, no nothing. Of course, the truth is, we're _not_ leaving – not now, not ever. Even if we pull every uniformed person out of Iraq, we'll still leave behind “contractors” and “advisors” by the tens of thousands... and of course we'll need all the “intel” we can get in order to insure that the basic mission, i.e. the reason we went over there in first place, is kept on track – namely protecting Israel's interests, and, secondarily I guess, ensuring continued access to Middle East oil. (The last person who thought it had anything to do with "terrorism" just died, leaving behind their passbook savings account and their Yugo.) But of course, none of this is ever voiced in public, by anyone with any sense – or by Pelosi either. She is also under the impression that, once we withdraw our forces from Iraq, we can somehow continue to “fight political corruption” over there. I would say that has as much of a chance for success as fighting political corruption in Illinois, say. And please note, Pelosi made it clear – lest anyone forget – that she “opposed the initiation of hostilities in Iraq and the war in general”. But now that we're over there she is absolutely certain that we need to maintain some sort of presence to gather reliable intelligence and fight political corruption. Is it any wonder Ann Coulter referred to her as “a retarded woman”? It would all be too funny if she weren't just a couple of heartbeats away from the presidency... not that fools at least as grand haven't occupied that office in the past.