News From Hooverville

Someone -- I think P.J. O'Rourke -- once offered a classic definition of the difference between human beings and animals. He said, "They don't appreciate scenery, and we're not afraid of vacuum cleaners." And the thing is, this difference can have serious -- or even fatal -- results at times. According to today's paper, a Pennsylvania man was attacked by his own pit bull when the guy's girlfriend started up a vacuum cleaner. First the dog attacked the vacuum cleaner, and when the owner tried to intervene it attacked him as well. Net result: One badly torn-up dog owner, and one dead dog (shot by police). So if you have one of these sketchy dogs you might want to lock it in the basement the next time housecleaning day rolls around. Why they get so upset by vacuum cleaners is an abiding mystery -- must have something to do with evolution or something. After all, doesn't nature abhor a vacuum?