Hillary's China Curse

OK, I'll bet you think you know what this post is going to be about, based on the title. Wrong! It has nothing to do with China, the country -- although, heaven knows, Hillary drags China baggage around like a third-class tourist in Mexico. No, this is about real china, i.e. the kind one dines (not "eats") off of, the kind one... _starts thinking about months before one could possibly move into the White House_. As you'll recall, one of Teresa Heinz Kerry's countless examples of chutzpah during the 2004 campaign was to start to pick out china patterns, curtains, and upholstery for an eventual move into the White House (which, in her case, required a bit of, um, "belt-tightening" compared to her accustomed luxury digs). The minute the public found out she was talking about china, the campaign went downhill, and it never recovered. Thus, the "china curse". Hillary is, of course, tempting fate not by talking about china, curtains, etc., since the Clintons already have all that stuff, and it has already done service in the White House. (They were just holding onto it so it wouldn't get all stained with barbeque sauce from the Bushes.) Her presumption consists of already laying out plans for her first "100 days". Now, the "100 days" mystique is an exercise in grandiosity that we have allowed presidents to indulge in ever since FDR. To "turn the country around" in 100 days is about the same as turning an oil tanker around in the community swimming pool down the street. But they all claim the ability to do this, and Hillary is no exception. Among her 100-day projects is, of course, to "ask the Joint Chiefs to develop an Iraq withdrawal plan that can begin in 60 days". First question -- is that 60 days added to the 100 days, or are they concurrent? Because if they aren't, we're already up to five months, and that's not good. And remember, all she is promising is to "ask". Now, presumably, if she "asks", the Joint Chiefs will at least start to pretend to be working on a plan. (And, by the way, the Joint Chiefs per se don't "do" plans, that is left to low-level drones in the Pentagon, who are regularly outpaced by sea slugs.) But in any case, Paragraph 1 of said plan will, with absolute certainty, be a statement that the plan cannot be initiated in any 60 days -- or, for that matter, in 60 days from any date in the future. This news will be received by the Hillary White House with -- guess what -- great _relief_, since it is not, has never been, and never will be Hillary's real intent to withdraw our troops from Iraq. On that count, the fix is in. There are just too many vested interests in the indefinite continuation of this war, and many of them are supporting Hillary's campaign for, among other things, the express purpose of protecting their investment in the war. The idea is not to actually get out of Iraq, but to shift the blame for _not_ having gotten out away from the administration -- and the groundwork is already being laid for this, as we can see. Now, granted, Hillary has not promised that we will stay in Iraq for 100 years, as McCain has. But that will turn out to be a minor detail. Inauguration Day 2009 will be the occasion for the transfer of the albatross that is Iraq from Bush's neck to Hillary's -- and somewhere Richard Nixon is smiling, because that's the same trick the Democrats played on him when they tossed the Vietnam war into his lap in 1969.

We've received early warnings about all this, by the way -- it's not just my fevered imagination running in overdrive. Today's paper quotes one "expert" as saying that "Democrats... might worry about their party taking all the blame if a U.S. withdrawal creates a chaotic Iraq." Hmmm... a "chaotic" Iraq. Unlike the Iraq that we have today, I presume? He also says that "This is one area they will be very skittish about for the 2010 midterm elections. Advocating withdrawal from an unpopular war with a Republican president is one thing. Betting your majority on the aftermath of a withdrawal is another." (Nixon is no longer smiling. He's slapping his knee and laughing uproariously.) Of course, this assumes that the average American citizen gives a rat's ass about Iraq, which I seriously doubt. I, for one, would like to see the whole wretched place slide gently into the Persian Gulf. I can see it now -- a few bubbles, a bit of flotsam... maybe some jetsam... and then silence.

But in lieu of that unlikely occurrence, we have one that is almost as delectable. Ah yes -- 40 years later, the Democrats' "Vietnam karma" comes back to haunt them. It's a beautiful thing. Now, about those china patterns...