Dawn of the Dead

This just in -- reports from around the country are that many of the dead have risen from their graves and shambled to the nearest polling place to cast a vote for Barack Obama. This is being offered, by adoring crowds, as conclusive evidence that Obama is He Who Is To Come, since this miracle even exceeds John Kerry's thwarted promise to cause Christopher Reeve to rise from his wheelchair. However, more cynical observers have pointed out that no one has actually seen any of the dead in question walking out of cemeteries and into voting booths; the main evidence for this alleged event is that dead people whose names were included in lists of registered voters have apparently voted... or that people representing themselves as those same people have voted. One commentator points out that "this is standard procedure in places like Illinois. In terms of voting rights, death is a mere technicality, and if you don't have the gumption to get off your duff and vote, someone is going to do your voting for you. It's the American way." But Obama supporters will have none of this naysaying, and continue to believe that this is absolute proof that Obama is The Anointed One, and that his election has been appointed ere the stars were made.