Advanced Partying Studies

If there's anything more pathetic than a university that is known only for the prowess of its sports teams, it's one that is known only for being a so-called "party school". And it turns out -- horror of horrors! -- that West Virginia University, which is covered by the local media because it's considered part of the "greater Pittsburgh" regional sphere of influence, has gone from #1 to a mere #4 in the party rankings. This is based on an annual survey by the Princeton Review, which you would think would have more worthwhile things to talk about, but in any case...

But here's the point. It's all in good fun, and it's not considered the least bit suspect for a school to be known only, or primarily, as a "party school". (And let's face it, have you ever heard of West Virginia U. in any other context? I know I haven't.) Of course, when data such as these come out, the "officials" of the schools in question get all huffy and start sputtering -- mostly because they see their endowment at risk. But none of this is to the point, which is, why are there "party schools" at _all_? And the answer is that these places really aren't "schools" in the strict sense, but more like holding tanks or daycare centers for people who, up to the present era, would have been considered to have grown up, and to be adults, and therefore responsible. But American youth worship has succeeded in extending the span of adolescence in both directions (although, at least in theory, there is a limit to how far down it can be extended). On average, at this time, a person enters the "youth market" at age 7 at the latest, and stays in it for, at the very least, 15 years, i.e. up through college. And when I say "market" I mean to imply that the main driver for all of this is, indeed, economic. It's about selling stuff kids don't need and whose parents can't afford it. But beyond this, it's also sociological, and psychological. If you start conditioning adolescence in children who are still years away from puberty, they will respond by becoming a sort of freakish, grotesque imitation of real adolescents. It's not precocity, because they really aren't ready, on any level (except maybe verbally, but that's only because teenagers all talk like retarded seven-year-olds). And then on the other end of the scale, if you continue to reinforce ignorance, acting out, dependency, and sloth, and not reinforcing (or actually punishing, the way the public schools do) independence, thinking, and intiative, you're going to get exactly what we have, which is a society of juvenile delinquents -- not the rebellious, James Dean kind, but the Frankenstein kind, the kind we created and molded ourselves, then wonder what went wrong. But the problem is, most adults -- I mean real ones -- _don't_ wonder what went wrong. They take it for granted that, yes, they gave birth to, and are raising, parasites, who will continue to be parasites until at least age 22, after which, with any luck, they will go on to "further study" (in advanced partying, probably) or some other occupation which will keep them on the dole (in the broadest sense) indefinitely. So no, the notion of a "party school" doesn't bother them any more than the idea of toys in a day care center -- well, _of course_, isn't that what it's all about, after all?

On the other hand (and there's always an other hand) -- as I've said before, when the younger generation sees what a mess my generation has made of things, I can hardly blame them for wanting to remain in a child, fantasy world for as long as possible. To wake up one morning with a "regular job", and responsibilities, and having to face the multiple, and rapidly metastatizing, catastrophes the older generation has visited upon this society, and on the world in general -- well, it really is all too overwhelming. Dude, pass the six-pack -- I think I'll join ya.