You Might Be a Pittsburgher If...

-- Your motorcycle is worth more than your car.
-- You consider a Primanti’s sandwich a “snack”.
-- Your idea of a balanced diet is a different pizza place every night.
-- Every one of your family recipes ends with the sentence, “Top with melted cheese.”
-- You wear a Steelers jersey to a symphony concert.
-- Your waist measurement is the same as it was when you were sixteen – 45 inches.
-- Your grandparents are Irish, Italian, Polish, and German.
-- You can’t go more than ½ mile from home without going through a tunnel or over a bridge.
-- The sight of flat land gets you all confused.
-- You had your “sweet sixteen” party at Eat ‘n’ Park.
-- Your basement is higher than your neighbor’s chimney. (or vice versa)
-- You’ve never voted for a Republican because there are never any on the ballot.
-- You served Iron City beer at your wedding reception.
-- You had your honeymoon at Kennywood.
-- You look for the holy water font in the Cathedral of Learning.
-- You’re not aware that there is another Carnegie Hall (in New York City).
-- Your mother, your sister, and your wife all work in beauty parlors.
-- You’ve eaten Thanksgiving dinner at Tom’s Diner.
-- You set off fireworks for Thanksgiving, Christmas, and Easter.
-- You never go outside without a hat.
-- You never go inside without a hat.
-- You’ll have a tailgate party during a blizzard.
-- The “Zombie Walk” looks like any other night on the South Side.
-- You live in Pennsylvania but have never been to the East Coast.
-- Your union hall is on a “registered historic sites” list.
-- Every place your father worked has been closed and torn down.
-- The only wine you ever drink comes in a box.
-- Your grandfather commuted to work on the incline.
-- You can spell “Allegheny” and “Monongahela” but not “Ohio”.
-- The “cultural district” is where you park to go to the game.
-- The church where you were baptized is now a condo.
-- You got a gift certificate to a tattoo parlor for your birthday.
-- There’s a toilet seat next to your basement workbench.
-- You use the term “yinz” when talking to just one other person.
-- Your kid had so many piercings she needed a blood transfusion.
-- You sing along with elevator and supermarket music.