Loose Ends

Hitler Was Ashen, Not Waxen

Madame Tussaud’s in Berlin has reinstated a wax image of Hitler – his “tragic last days”, as the National Enquirer would say – in his underground bunker, after its beheading by “a 41-year-old German” (undoubtedly an art student). What I always find amusing about Hitlerphobia in Germany is that it’s not based on dislike and hostility, or even shame, but on the fear that Nazi-era icons might inspire some sort of nostalgia, and that Hitler likenesses might inspire some sort of cult worship. Funny how no one in China worries about this, vis-à-vis portraits of Chairman Mao. Even Stalin has a hard-core remnant of admirers in Russia – mostly people who got fat military pensions from his regime. But poor Adolf. No one loves you when you’re old and – defeated. But look on the bright side -- he's the only character in history who will never be referred to by the American media as "The ____ Hitler".

Take a Gandhi at This

A museum in India has put a replica of “the specially built mobile lavatory” used by Gandhi on display. Now, why did he even need a “mobile lavatory”, since he was fasting most of the time? And, didn’t he trust the local facilities? Was he just being a tourist, in other words? This bears further investigation.

Fools Fall For Fish Foot Feeding Fetish

So what’s this latest craze of having small fish nibble dead skin off your feet? And it can’t be cheap. Aren’t there enough weirdos around who would be willing to _pay_ to do it? How many nanoseconds before this one goes into the “craze box” along with pet rocks and CB radios?

One Hump Or Two?

“Ancient jawbone may be of tiny camel species.” Well, I guess now we know where “Camel Lights” came from.

I Thaw It Coming

“Ice-Free Arctic Routes” are now being opened up for navigation, thanks to global warming or whatever. It didn’t take long for someone to figure out how to turn a profit from what everyone else seems to consider a catastrophe. (For example, the melting of the Arctic ice cap is referred to as a “death spiral”. Not if you own beachfront property on Spitsbergen!)

And Speaking of Shorelines...

How long before a few thousand homeowners along the Texas coast will apply for government, i.e. taxpayer, handouts to compensate them for the damages caused by Hurricane Ike? Wouldn't it be great if, some day, the government would just tell people who build in places like that: "You're on your own. If you choose to build there we're not going to bail you out." For that matter, has anyone said this to New Orleans yet? Highly unlikely.

Couch Humans

According to a recent news item, research on the genome of the potato reveals that it has 840 million DNA base pairs, as compared to 3 billion for humans. But hold on, with fully 28% of the base pairs of the human species, and according to the usual scientific reporting on these issues, the potato ought to be, on average, 28% as intelligent as the average human -- which puts the potato about on par with the typical fraternity jocks in large state universities. Or maybe the numbers imply that 28% of all potatoes are equal in intelligence to the average human -- in which case, maybe we should incorporate potatoes into the ranks of "undecided voters". In any case, it's encouraging to know that we have close relatives in the vegetable world, ones that might, in fact, be the last to criticize American TV viewing habits.