Wooden It Be Nice

It's not too early to start thinking about what might make a good post-presidency gig for George W. Bush. I doubt if he wants to emulate Jimmy Carter and become an international election observer and all-around meddler. I also can't see him working on a campaign to make his wife president. But a story in today's paper reminded me that America is, truly, the land of opportunity -- even for grotesquely failed presidents. It seems that there is a sideshow freak in Coney Island known as the Human Blockhead. This is a guy who, according to the article, "drives a drill into his face". It's not mentioned whether he uses the same well-drilled orifice every time, or starts a new one; it's also not mentioned whether he has a degree in dentistry. But these pesky details matter little; the point is that it would be a perfect job for "W", when and if the current Blockhead gets tired of the whole thing and decides to retire (undoubtedly singing "The Drill is Gone" while walking off into the sunset). And think about it -- I mean, think about the advantages for "W". He gets to stay in the public eye... he gets recognition and applause, and undoubtedly a much higher approval rating than he's ever had as president. He gets to exercise a simple motor skill (self-drilling) rather than being baffled by high-order cognitive skills the way he is now. And from a health standpoint, he has absolutely nothing to lose -- he certainly would not be rendered any more clueless by having a few holes in his head. No, really, I think this is something he should seriously consider.