Sitting Ducks

Doogie Howser He Ain’t

OK, so a 30 year old guy – a “sex offender” -- in Arizona managed to pose as a 12-year-old for two years in order to get into public schools? Sounds like the Arizona schools have a bigger job to do than just instituting “bad touch” training.

The World That Time Forgot

According to a recent installment of Ripley’s Believe It or Not, "An estimated 100 indigenous tribes live without significant contact with the outside world.” What they didn’t mention is that one of the “tribes” consists of people who listen to NPR all day. (Remember, they said “significant” contact.)

Kim Jong Ill

It’s a good thing communist countries don’t have anything like that old-fashioned “royalty” thing, AKA “hereditary rulers”, or we’d have butt-heads like Kim Jong-Il running places like North Korea just because his father did, and people would be trying to figure out which of his sons would wind up in charge after he pegged out. Oh, wait…

Sam Can Cook

The Prime Minister of Thailand, Samak Sundaravej, has been forced to leave office “for taking pay to host a TV cooking show.” Well now, wait a minute. Of all the possible offenses that could be committed by a public official, in Thailand or any other place, being part of a cooking show has to rank pretty close to the bottom in terms of severity. Plus, hey, he was supporting Thai cuisine, which, as we all know, is quite tasty. When’s the last time any of our home-grown politicians did anything that useful? (pause) I’m waiting for your answer…

Friends of Pill

A Church of Scientology group in France has been indicted on, among other things, a charge of “illegally acting as a pharmacy”. But wait – doesn’t that mean things like pills, and “drugs”? I thought their position was that it was all in your mind. Maybe they were just looking for short cuts.

Mister No-Jangles

According to a recent news item, “Israeli airport security officials made an [sic] black member of the New York-based Alvin Ailey dance troupe perform steps for them before letting him enter the country.” Well, the guy’s name is Abdur-Rahim Jackson, so I can see how that might have raised a few suspicions: “OK fella, show us that padded butt isn’t hiding WMDs!” Plus, Jackson is engaged to “a fellow dancer who is Jewish with a large family in Israel”. “Oy vey! A 'schvartze' in our family?” Just another tidbit in the long history of the uneasy relationship between Jews and blacks. Now when does Al Sharpton race over to Israel to put his two cents in? Any minute now, I expect. And I don't think they'll even ask him to dance...