Political and Other Road Kill

Seeing Spots

Now it seems that, not only has there been an unusual dearth of sunspot activity of late, but that this phenomenon is historically linked to -- guess what -- global cooling. This has, of course, greatly upset the "scientific community", not because they're particularly pro-sunspot but because they've invested their collective professional reputations in the looming "global warming" menace, which, like Godzilla, comes closer every day. Wouldn't it be just like that doggone Sun to bust the chops of our finest climatic minds! Let us hope that the Sun repents of its wrath and goes back to spotting, thus vindicating the exertions of the likes of Al Gore and his acolytes.

Animal Wrongs

We've already dealt with the elevation of apes to first-class citizenship in Spain. Now it's Switzerland's turn, and this nation of customarily sober and level-headed (read: boring) people has decided to do Spain one better. Now, the land of mountains and cheese and those funny long horns has granted rights to goldfish, live bait (i.e., if it's live it can no longer be bait), parrots, hamsters, sheep, goats, and pigs. Well, all I can say is that it's a short jump from all of this to a total ban on meat and seafood -- in which case, where are they going to get the energy to blow those funny long horns? But wait, there's more! How long until they come up with "rights" for lower life forms, like rats and cockroaches? There goes D-Con and Roach Motel. But then, how long before someone declares that _bacteria_ have rights? Step away from the Lysol... The only consolation in all of this is that any society that descends to this degree of madness is unlikely to survive for even a single generation. Which means, basically, a lot of very pleasant scenery will soon be up for grabs. Along with a lot of very old cheese.

Empire Blues

Chilton Williamson, Jr., in a review of Pat Buchanan's latest book in the August 2008 Chronicles, points out that "even today... the United States cannot be said to enjoy or to profit from her so-called empire." The point is that the British knew how to "do" empire and use it to increase their prestige, and turn a tidy profit besides, whereas the American Empire is a chronic drain and a liability on all fronts -- economic, political, and military. And, sure enough, when the British Empire ceased to "pay off" for the Brits, they got rid of it. Well, that's probably an oversimplification, but they certainly would not have held on, in the dogged way we do, to military bases in places that provide nothing in return. So does this mean that the British were more realistic, and practical, about the empire business than we are? Certainly. Does it, then, imply that we are simply deluded on this issue? Yes, but it implies a bit more than that. As I've pointed out, the war in Iraq, which, by any objective standard is a total catastrophe for all involved, is making a few people very rich, and that seems sufficient cause to keep us over there. Would the British have tolerated such cynical perfidy in the waning days of their empire? Perhaps, up to a point, after which the question would have arisen, whose side are these profiteers on, the nation's or their own? And if the answer is "their own", why are they allowed free rein rather than being arrested for treason? This would be a good question for someone to ask about the people who benefit the most from our folly in Iraq.

Bony and Clod

In local news... well, first, let me ask you a question. Let's say you're out to rob a bank. What time of day, or what time in the week, would you think would be the very least auspicious time to pull the job off? I would say, without fear of contradiction, during Friday evening rush hour. Right? Of course, 'cause how are you going to make a getaway when every highway in the area is gridlocked? But hey, this is Pittsburgh, a town of broad shoulders and derring-do, so last Friday a bank job was indeed pulled off, right down the road from where I live, at 5:51 PM on Friday evening. You'll say, "losers", and "guaranteed to fail", but not so fast! The "perps" not only pulled the job off, but managed to get away, and elude police, for 30 minutes, and all in the midst of rush hour traffic. The chase "reached reported speeds of 80 mph", even. For sheer brilliance as a getaway driver, I nominate the guy driving that car. But for sheer stupidity as to selection of day and time, I nominate the same guy. He was, of course -- along with a female companion -- eventually apprehended, but only after the entire police force of Pittsburgh was engaged in the pursuit (and I supposed a few other bank jobs could have been pulled at that point if they'd only known...). And yeah, it's all on You Tube: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hE06Y0h6P6M. Hey, is this place great or what?